Having got my first ever (first time I have even been in one) bus 2 weeks ago, would just like to make the following observations...
* I now have muscles in my arms I didn't know existed, from steering with a dustbin lid attached to a bungee strap (at least it feels like that)
* I am getting very adept at doing 3 point turns on mini islands
* Brakes are highly overrated in modern cars, I'm sure it will stop eventually
* I have to drive it like a bike, accelerate like bllx down the hill to try and get up the other side
* Global warming does not exist in the inside of my van. I can now see why drivers gloves were popular in the 60s. And scarfs and hats and sheepskin jackets.
* The engine is purposely at the back so I can't hear what is going on
* There was no rain in the 60's or my wipers are on a go slow
* The windscreen wash is purely for entertainment value. Whilst sitting in traffic I can play 'Will the water squirt reach the wiper blade?'
* My van is like the crystal Maze, I have a different key for every panel
* I need to diet. If I put any weight on, or my legs get any longer I will not fit in the driver seat
* Radio looks lovely and retro. Only problem is I have to sing to the bus, as it doesn't actually produce any noise
* The headlights work off one of the 3 buttons with identical pictures on. I am veering towards the middle button atm
* I always have my phone on fully charge and AA on speed dial now
* I am booking her into PA (Petrol Anonymous) as she appears to have a huge drinking habit
* Third gear is like the holy grail, I know it exists but I am still on a quest to find it
* My car tool kit consists of a phillips screwdriver, a bicycle pump, wd40 and a piece of sandpaper
* People hang out their cars and make strange signs at me. At first I thought it was abuse, but it appears I have joined some funny club like the Masons and need to learn the funny handshakes
* Is the best feeling in the world going past (the other direction obviously) another bus. I actually got bottled up when he flashed his headlights. If I ever learn where the full beam is I will reciprocate, rather than do mad waving signs
I am sure she has numerous other merits which I no doubt will find over the months
Love you Tills!
Have been waiting with baited breath for the next installment of 'Life aboard Tilly'. As usual Val, you've not disappointed! Very entertaining and should be on the best sellers book list.
ReplyDeleteCarry on cruising.
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Oh thank you Val. we've had a really crap week and your blogs have me crying with laughter, just what I needed. Hope you enjoy Cornwall, not gone in Tillie then? Or did you!
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