Somewhere in Byfield, poly bells and canvas awnings

Just returned from a weekend at Crossing Farm (Byfield) where I met with some of the others (snowy, gumball, annie and her newly acquired man (just when we had given up hope) and mans's dog, Stanley)

Forecast was good, no rain, hurricanes or snow - about as good as we could expect for the first day of March

Saturday Evening

So loaded up Tills with her nice new MOT and mismatched paint job (need to get her sprayed properly still) and trundled the 25 mile voyage to just outside Banbury

Got there for about 1pm so proceeded to pitch the new van awning.  Bit clueless, but pretty much a frame tent with an elasticated bum bag

Not having much idea what was included in the bags, I had brought along 3 groundsheets, plus carpets in every size (didnt know the dimensions either)

300 tent pegs later...all pitched

Must admit I liked the covered access to the van

Couple of hours pootling about and it was all pitched. No sign of the others yet so decided to pitch the poly tea bag as well (the shit brown coloured 4m poly bell I have just 'acquired' (blown credit card on) from Germany))  Found it on Amazon but if you google the german sellers website and order direct the postage works out cheaper (see link at the bottom of the page).  Idea being it's lightweight for any last minute camping where i cant drive/park at the pitch, and gives me a 'hire' tent for people if they want to borrow it (will still probably cry though when i lend it) - Review and more about it at the bottom of the page

Pitched...now what...

So all tents pitched, beds made, ehu hooked up nicely with enough fan heaters to blow the national grid and I was ready for the night

The others all rolled along from 3pm onwards and were soon pitched and settled.  Fish and chip order taken and we dined in style (which reminds me I think I owe Annie £2 extra for the fish and chips).  As its a chinese chippy, was quite pleased they had widened their menu to include mushy peas, a huge failing last time we visited.  Obviously something is lost in translation (there is a reason for it being called chinese whispers) as the 'mushy peas' were two tone ball bearings sitting in water.  Chewing a aniseed ball would be mushier

Homer enjoying a spot of French Skipping

Early next morning (about 10:30pm) the eldest daughter (shall be known as devil child 2 from hereon or DC2) came along with the little un (rocket banger) for a day of wine and fine dining. Well actually a lot of quorn, tofu and salad offerings as she has now realised that pregnancy not only brings a bundle of chubby joy, it also brings a bundle of chubby flab that she now needs to lose before returning to work in May

So insipid sausages and healthy eating everything cooked first, then I layed the lard up and threw in my breakfast of cream cakes, a kilo of sugar and sausages with extra fat in them (my diet isn't going quite as well)

We then decided to take a walk around the reservoir as it was just down the road. Well actually it was down a hill down the road.  The hill rather nastilly changed to uphill for the return journey.  This was ok though, as it meant we burnt off all that tofu (lard) and tbh didnt really notice the gradient, as avoiding the oncoming cars pretty much kept us occupied anyway

Homers feet getting muddier and muddier :(

Rocket banger was squashed into a baby sling as it wasnt brilliant pushchair territory.  Unfortunately I think the sling was made for a small being about 1/2 stone lighter, so she wasn't too chuffed about being squeezed into a corset at 4 months old.  Weaning starts next week, so might be worth starting her on some tofu too

Help!

Although the moon chair was a big hit

Back to the campsite and never one to actually appreciate the tranquility and peacefulness of camping, I decided to load everything out of the awning and into Poly tea bag for the night.  Then take down the awning - which is a lovely awning and everything but must admit I dont enjoy sleeping in it half as much as the bells :(

Gumball also had a play with his new toy which was donated to him from the 'no homes for canvas society'.  As longs as he remains standing all the time, should be a useful little tent

Gumballs 'compact' new home (this picture is taken to scale)

Lazy arse didn't even peg it down (Annies new Cabanon Calais in the background)

Gumballs proper 'new' tent. He has succumbed to the bell tent witches society - complete with 'free porch'.  Of course they aren't actually free but anyone who buys one, it is compulsory to say it is included or we will all get found out

Made dinner in 2 shifts again, garlic and chilli grill steaks for the daughter (identical to the sausage she had for breakfast but would make even a french man shudder, they stunk).  Was getting late and as it wasn't such a good idea on this trip keeping rocket banger out for the night, they set off home to bricks and mortar

Another evening round the campfire where gumball once again demonstrated the M kettle - brilliant device.  Spend 30 mins chopping a log into match sticks. Spend 30 mins trying to light match sticks (incidentally damp wood isnt great for fires) .  Give up, lob in a fire lighter, and voila! A pint of water bubbles out the hole in the top and over your hands.  Saving approx 1/2 pint of water for your cup of tea.  Love the 'back to basics survival kit', highly entertaining.  Stanley the dog took to 'singing' to Homer most of the night, he wasn't overly impressed when it woke him up.  He wasn't sure whether to eat him, or give him the number of a doggy pychiatrist he could recommend

His fingers are so trained and agile in the speed of chopping matchsticks now, you can barely capture them on film

Snowy goes for shabby chic bag lady look

Annie in the first throws of passion would try and sneak off for an early night about 6:30pm.  We wouldn't release her from the social gathering until 9pm earliest (Mr Annie had actually bribed us and pleaded not to let her drag him back to the tent any earlier).  Although it was said at the end of the weekend that Mr Annie was freezing on the Friday night, whereas Annie was roasting.  I think perhaps Annie puts more effort into the night time activities...

Gosh I am so tired....(although it would take Annie about 2 hours to unpeel her layers)

Drank Cathys home made sloe gin (yum), and a few beers so I didnt think about Mr Teabag waiting for me to perish in the frost in the night, cooked fajitas over the fire and a perfect night camping

Much happier once I was installed in the poly bell. No rain forecast so I was pretty safe, also no wind, so no rustling or anything. Fan heater had done its job, and armed with the dual control electric faux sheepskin electric blanket, had a good warm nights sleep (see us hardened campers who pitch all through the winter aren't that stupid) .

Up bright and early this morning (about 10am), leisurely packed up in the dry and pleasant morning and mooched off about 1pm

Snowy had to outdo us all, and taking the current petrol prices into account, arranged for a private lift home....it's the tow truck driver I feel sorry for, wonder how many funny looks he got dragging his flower power trailer home...

Some pics of the Poly Bell if anyone has a whim to test drive a teabag as well

Few nice bits:-

• 2 windows (ok poly ones, so you have to look through crackled plastic)
• The A frame poles are a better design than any of the more 'up market' bells I have - Simple difference being the option to adjust into 1 of 3 holes on the poles.  Extending poles, simple idea but no one else has done it
• Mosquito nets in the doorway (only strange bit is that these zip on all sides, however the main tent door flaps only zip down the middle - the bottom is open (no adverse effects or chill noticed from this though, as they hang lower anyway)
• it weighs 9.5kg
• it takes 10 minutes to pitch
• it doesn't weigh a ton damp
• it dries quickly anyway
• pack size is 65x20x20cm
• SIG (sewn in groundsheet)
• 3 days to deliver - quicker than most UK outlets

Frost outside (temperature dropped to -5 in the night) but the tent was snug as a bug - Thankfully no trace of condensation in the morning either

Bit disarming really, as have spent the last 3 years preaching canvas is brilliant and poly is shite, and have nothing bad to say about the teabag (yet)

Ventilation was good, poles seemed strong enough, and reinforced roof for the centre pole

Extending A frame arms

Warm at -5, not bad for a poly

All kitted out (yes yes i have washed the muddy rug now)

I have no idea how this tent is going to perform in any downpour, so have a couple of options:-

• Pitch it (badly) in the garden and set the hose on it (although this will usually mean a dog shit mark will appear on the groundsheet, as Homer and Barley have a knack of hiding their dumps so I cant find them, despite thinking the area is clear)
• Pitch it another weekend when rain is forecast and drown in it
• Pitch it another weekend and sit and gloat in another tent, whilst watching it drown

Advertised at 5000HH it sounds perfect. I'm not sure the reality will be as good, being a natural cynic

They also sell 5m and 6m versions, but the price increases quite a bit (6m has an inner)

I'll update when i know what the water resistance is like (if any).  Only dubious as they previously sold another poly bell which got slated on water resistance (advertised as 3000HH, called the Grand Canyon Indiana)


German website if you want the cheaper rate (but use google translate!)

http://www.camping-outdoor.eu/camping/zelte/8-personen/10t-8-personen-pyramiden-zelt-mojave-400-ws-5000mm-festeingenaehte-bodenwanne/a-1142762456/

Total cost is: 156.93 euro (bank transfer gives another 5% discount) or 164.43 euro with paypal

Converts to approx £135 (£141 with paypal) - inclusive of the delivery charge

All people in this blog do not in anyway resemble anyone living/dead.  They are all entirely fictional...(disclaimer just in case...sorry gumbllx..annie..cathy)

15th March - Tested in the rain and happy to report no leaks!!! woo hooo! (other than where I left the rain cap off and it dripped down the pole)

Back to Banbury again..

Last weekend was a impromptu trip back to camping at Anita's in Banbury again. Having said the week before I would DEFINITELY NOT be going camping as far too much to do in the house etc, and off to Cornwall for easter it was only sensible to stay at home and sort the house out etc.

So I went camping instead.

Drove over Friday evening and met Smoky and Gumball. We bagged the corner of the packed field (no one but us as usual) and got the tents up before the last of the daylight went

Our gypo camp set up

Top left corner was our pitch

Not really sure whether we were allowed a raised firepit, so we hid it under the gazebo. Gumball recollected his stories of warming his feet on a previous trip, however the glue on his shoes came away. This resulted in the toes curling up, and should he ever need to play the part of santas helper he now has a nice pair of elf shoes ready

Saturday morning we got up and had a short walk on the darcy way again (runs alongside the campsite). Being avid botanists we hadn't a clue what the crop was growing all around us, Homers only concern was if it was edible

Walked over a few fields then we went 'off piste' to try the other fields out. Only to be met with 'no dogs' signs, so was a total waste of time. Got back on track and mooched back to awaiting horses and campsite

Next we took a trip to a furniture warehouse (don't ask, it was Gumballs idea). Played a few games of 'Which is the crappest piece of furniture' and find the cheapest soup spoons (smoky's idea) and that whiled away an hour

Moved on for lunch at Hook Norton. Smoky had found a 'lovely traditional pub with beams and brasses' etc (was a crap hole inside) and we ordered off the 'Deep fried Oil of the day Menu'. In fairness we should have been a bit dubious as there was a sign outside advertising for a chef, and the barmaid blew the dust off the menu she found behind the bar.

See it looks nice...

Gumball played safe with a jacket spud and festering tuna. Smoky had the cheese and leek bake (and later had cheese and leek sausages. Then for breakfast cheese and leek on toast. And lunch was cheese and leek pasties. There's nothing like variation on a veggie diet). I went for oil tanker fish and chips.

A coach party celebrating a 40th also rolled up at the same time (giving the illusion the pub was popular) A rather scary purple haired woman came over to pat Homer and Barley. Barley loved it, but Homer wasn't going to turn his back on her, she looked like an any port in the storm type

So with a belly full of lard we moved onto the Hook Norton brewery. Parked at the bottom of the hill (sorry Tillie, I need to invest in some ordnance survey maps for her, rather than standard road maps. Direction isn't an issue, contours are)

So here is Colditz the brewery

Wandered round the shop, and smoky got some booze (she might be a veggie but she is a pisshead as well)

Then went upstairs to the museum. Bit of a weird one this. A few models falling to bits that were donated (can just imagine the sigh of relief when they handed it over, thinking 'yayy got rid of that bloody junk')

And then you travel to the end of the building (it's not massive honest) and hit the twilight zone, where it all gets a bit strange. First off is horror film exhibit A, the Clarkes baby christening gown. Put the creeps up me and expected some dripping carcass to be wearing it as it crawled out of a well....

Then you get to Exhibit B

Evidently a 'Lovely example of a Triang pram from 1986 with a cute 'William' Doll'. The doll wasn't cute, it was creepy. And the notice further explained how the 12 year old 'Clarke' girl who owned the pram had tragically died...

Now I can understand that this is all a bit sad, but I am struggling to see what association with a bottle of 'Old Hooky 4.6% malt' a Triang pram and the demise of a local family has....

You them move onto the next part of the museum through a small door. Which is actually the exit (don't blink you will miss it)

On leaving the building there is a nice gold commemorative plaque on the wall. On further inspection it reads...'In Memory of David Clarke, a tragic short life....' ARGHHHHHH...let me out!!!

Gumball headed off home, while Smoky took me on a mystery Tour of errr...well nowhere really. It was Bloxham, but we drove straight through, then we headed to Cropredy, smoky led me to a carpark with a entrance about 3ft high which would have left Tillies room on the tarmac, so I headed back

More ale and piss taking round the campfire for the rest of the evening (sure I left my Colin Caterpillars behind as well, so if anyone finds them, they are mine)

Next day, nice lie in, messed around with Tillie and her awning

Avoided packing up as long as possible, then finally put everything away

Packed up and head to Farnboro, about a mile down the road and took the mutts for a bit of a walk at Farnboro Hall. After going down the sheer bank on our arses, we looked 10 ft across and saw the steps down

What can be better to a lab than loads of stagnant ponds

Had to avoid a few small children with their neurotic parents who thought our rabid dogs might harm little Milly Molly Mandy and her brother Timmy Tucky Whimper

Then back to the car through the woods

And time for a nice peaceful picnic at the top

Smoky was a lot more organised than me, managing the kettle, cups, plates, food, cake, stove and Ella. I struggled with Homer, Barley and a spotty handled knife

After Homer had barked at every passing human and dog for an hour, we packed up and made the journey home (supposed to be via a windmill, but think it blew away because we couldn't find it)

Cornwall next!

Freezing Cold, Snow forecast tomorrow, must be time to go camping!

Well it seemed like a good idea a few months back to get a February camp so that I could accomplish a year of camping on every month.

Well the time has come and I am half packed (supposed to be fully packed but got lazy head on) and I am off to Banbury tomorrow morning. The snow is forecast tomorrow night so all a bit exciting

Obviously with such cold and rubbish forecast, I have stupidly opted for the one tent that has no SIG (sewn in groundsheet) is about a hundred years old and may well leak. So the Latitude is my igloo for the next 3 nights (shape is about right anyway)

I like to think of myself as a bit of a Scott of the Antarctic, complete with ehu, fan heater and electric blanket

So what have I been up to....well the kitchen is unrecognisable now. As I have done absolutely nothing and everything is buried all over the place. Homer seems to keep bringing toys in there, so it is now a bit of an army assault course.

The sewing machine has had a bashing as usual and I have created some more awesome rubbish

I started off with a notepad cover for my camping lists (this may well go into several volumes as they are filling up rapidly)

It's supposed to be resemble a campervan if you are struggling...

Next on the list was a 'Night Owl Bag' - an american tutorial for making a huge bag for young children to use on sleepovers. As no one ever invites my small child Homer for a sleep over, I made it for camping. And due to my wanton spending in the Catherine Kidston retail outlet I had a few miles of material to use up. So here is what is probably the hugest Cath Kidston bag in existence

Homer got a bit confused with the concept of a sleep over bag

Next I decided to make the stupidly shaped tent carpet I bought into a rectangular shape. I cut the 2 peaks off each side, reversed one to make a rectangular strip - then sewed the whole lot back on...exactly along the same line I had cut off (was chewing on the sewing machine when i ballsed that bit up)

And I miscalculated one corner so it is more of a jigsaw carpet now

After that resounding success another drawstring bag with zip (wanted to have a play, didnt really need a zip but liked this tutorial ) for the inflatable vango loungers i got

These are vango loungers - idea being if I can't take the trailor I can blow these up instead. They are a bit wobbly but they passed the Homer test. Will get round the wobble by putting them in a duvet cover

And yet more sewing....next was a storage holder as I lose everything. (Last trip losing the keys was a nightmare)

I even made some nice little credit card pockets, so any campsite thieves can hone straight in on them

Lastly I made a new lap top cover, as the old one was pretty scummy after I had put my coffee cup on it for months (another zip, I was getting obsessed)

And here is my hand. And everything will be lined in the check ikea duvet as they were cheap

So that is my splurge on handicrafts this week. I was debating what to do next, searching the internet for the next tutorial/idea and I came across this....

Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Lesson learnt. No more sewing. I have packed the machine away and burnt all the material and threads. It was a rocky road I was going down, but the harsh reality of me walking around in a patchwork dress has brought me to my senses