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Sunday, 16 September 2012

50th Fairy Camp Preparations & dieting (not for those of a nervous disposition)

2 weeks ago I decided I am fed up of being the size of a double decker bus and embarked on yet another diet. With about 4 stone to lose it's not going to be an overnight success, so some incentive was needed

A few conversations on the forum about dieting, outfits and random other things. And the result is I am having a 50th birthday camp next May at Nantcol Waterfalls

The theme came from Cathys desire to dress as a rather glamorous fairy, and we all joined in the deluded thought, that yes we could look like these as well!


So the diet started, back at the gym (sooo unfit!) and nights spent googling tutu's, fairy wings and armwarmers

But the biggest quandary is the corset....Unsure of what size to order as you need to study a whole goldmine of information to work this one out.

It turns out I am a 6XL (argh!) with a size 14 being a 2XL! (a size 14 is positively skinny to me).
Then other website sizing works on waist/chest/hip measurements, but then you deduct 4 inch off what you want when you order.(add 10 and divide by 2)
Then throw in the pot that I will hopefully be at least 3 stone lighter by the time i get one.

Results in me having no idea what size to get, but will invest in a very long piece of string to tie the gaping big hole in the back up.

So for trial purposes and purely out of curiousity I ordered a cheap and nasty £10 one off ebay. When the package arrived, the OH queried what it was, to which I just said, 'Argh just some camping rubbishy bits blah blah'...not wanting to admit to a corset, tutu and g string the size of a dairylea cheese spread

So while he was at work today I decided to try the bloody thing on to get an idea of size (this was a stupidly 'L' one which in theory is about 6 sizes too small)

So anyone of a nervous disposition or about to eat their dinner look away now (altho god knows why i am posting these revolting picS on here anyway - think it's because they aren't going on facebook, or the camping forum, but I need something to motivate me to lose the pork)

So first off I took a couple of pics in darkly lit places....


Gave up after this one trying to take a pic in the mirror...


So I decided the 'Homer Way' again. Which involves me getting his moral support by giving me someone to talk to, rather than stand like a prat in front of the camera. So out in the garden (I'm sure no neighbours were around, but if there are For Sale signs out there tomorrow, I was obviously overlooked)

First pic is a rather delectable view of Homers arsehole....


Here he was convinced the camera timer was someone trying to break in


And the last pic, I appear to be mounting my dog...


So in 6 months time there will be a whole new set of pics where I will be unrecognisable as a slim gorgeous fairy ...(no Im not under any illusions either)

I did show Steve these pics tonight and he said 'are you sure there wasn't a bloke here...?'

I'm pretty sure if there was, he would have legged it pretty nippy

3 comments:

  1. you bugger I spat wine at the screen then. I always enjoy your posts but I wish I were a fly on the wall when you were taking these pics,your self depreciating style is wonderful

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hahaha! You do know I was only joking when I said i wanted to dress as a fairy?? LOL It was worth it to see these pics! Poor Homer - no wonder he is traumatised!
    (actually you look great in that corset! You sure you need to lose any more weight??)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Just another 3 stone to go! :(

      Worryingly the pics of me prancing around in a corset have attracted twice as many views as my Landrover weekend blog, which were both posted yesterday!

      So porn pics must be the way forward...hmmmmm....

      Delete

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