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Friday, 12 October 2012

Home and back to the gym

Northumberland is now a distant memory (never did get round to finishing it off, will have to do that soon)

And so the battle of the bulge is back on

With fairy costumes looming next May I have stupidly signed up for a 10k run at Althorp, Northants in February (the time of year when there is usually about 3ft of snow)  If you go to the link dont be impressed by the duathlon biking and stuff, i'm not cycling anywhere

I have also gone back timidly to the gym

Having spent the last few weeks learning how to breath without collapsing I am now upping the pace a bit

I have gone mad at Aldi and splurged on a running jacket, jogging bottoms and socks.  So now I can join the rest of the black and lime green joggers all over coventry in the cold months

Being a newbie at the gym, I am usually attacked by all the ugly personal trainers as being an easy target. Spot the overweight middle aged woman in the new training shoes and it's easy money.  So pre empting this tonight I thought I would go and check out what the fuss was about these personal trainers. But on my conditions

Gazing round the gym I locked onto a rather tasty young dark haired trainer.  Then I moved in for the kill.  He was actually with a customer so after a quick conversation and he said he would be over in 5 minutes if I wanted to start my warm up.

Over to the treadmill and I started my 'warm up'.  Which actually is my whole routine. 30 mins jogging, a few fairy weights and a couple of sit ups using the bendy sit up thing

He left me for about 10 mins (not good as obviously beetroot red now) and I was rudely distrurbed in the chorus of 'dont marry her f*%k meeeeeeee!' (a beautiful south song on my ipod)

Pretending that I could actually breathe and talk at the same time, he asked me what I wanted to achieve blah blah blah and I managed to hold a stilted conversation .  So gave him the overall idea, said I wasn't sure of a few machines, in particular the stomach cruncher one which just strained my arms and never seemed to affect my stomach

He has signed me up for a free taster session on Tuesday evening at 7:30pm, and I could book from 30 mins or up to 10 x 1hr sessions (unlikely they are bloody expensive) if I wanted to afterwards

He left the gym so I could now go back to grunting and gasping loudly for the next 20 mins

Did a few of the weight machines then headed for the stomach cruncher. Again had no idea and just sort of rolled back and forth on it like someone in foetal position in a mental insitution

Horrified to look up and see he is looming in front of me.

'You have far too much weight on it'
'Yes probably'
'..and you are holding the straps too far down..'
'I did say it hurt my arms'
'....and you need to go 5 times as slow and roll it right back...'
'Yes yes well I did say I hadn't got a clue on this machine' (he is fekkin annoying me already)
'Now try it'
'I can't feel anything'
'Do it slower'
'Still cant feel anything really'
'OK put the weight back on then'
'Yes can feel it now'  (mwwaahhhhaaaahhhaaa round 1 to me I think)

So he gives me the card with the appointment on....roll on Tuesday....


  1. Hope he gives you specific detailed instructions on how to use the machines first, not just letting you have free rein on them. Sure he's not a trainee personal trainer?????

    Good luck.


  2. Hi Val. Don't know if I'm jinxed or wot, but published a comment yesterday re: Gym. Tonight it's vanished. That's the second time this has happened. Does this happen to others looking at Blogspot??

    Anyway, IF THIS GOES THROUGH, Good luck xx

    1. ha ha, i know why (i think!) found your comments went straight into 'spam'! Along with some other advertising from something 'anon' - think thats the trigger word that filters you out!

      Full of crap cold at the moment, if no better in the morning will cancel gym till later in week :(

      Am ok with most machines, is just when i decide to play on new ones he can put me right. He is talking about weights and dumb bells etc :S

      I can just sneeze all over him if I'm struggling with it


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Finished!  So I get asked, where do I store all my camping kit? The answer is