I posted this on the VW forum but I think more unsuspecting people who have the thought of buying a VW Type 2 should have some idea what they are letting themselves in for....
Having got my first ever (first time I have even been in one) bus 2 weeks ago, would just like to make the following observations...
* I now have muscles in my arms I didn't know existed, from steering with a dustbin lid attached to a bungee strap (at least it feels like that)
* I am getting very adept at doing 3 point turns on mini islands
* Brakes are highly overrated in modern cars, I'm sure it will stop eventually
* I have to drive it like a bike, accelerate like bllx down the hill to try and get up the other side
* Global warming does not exist in the inside of my van. I can now see why drivers gloves were popular in the 60s. And scarfs and hats and sheepskin jackets.
* The engine is purposely at the back so I can't hear what is going on
* There was no rain in the 60's or my wipers are on a go slow
* The windscreen wash is purely for entertainment value. Whilst sitting in traffic I can play 'Will the water squirt reach the wiper blade?'
* My van is like the crystal Maze, I have a different key for every panel
* I need to diet. If I put any weight on, or my legs get any longer I will not fit in the driver seat
* Radio looks lovely and retro. Only problem is I have to sing to the bus, as it doesn't actually produce any noise
* The headlights work off one of the 3 buttons with identical pictures on. I am veering towards the middle button atm
* I always have my phone on fully charge and AA on speed dial now
* I am booking her into PA (Petrol Anonymous) as she appears to have a huge drinking habit
* Third gear is like the holy grail, I know it exists but I am still on a quest to find it
* My car tool kit consists of a phillips screwdriver, a bicycle pump, wd40 and a piece of sandpaper
* People hang out their cars and make strange signs at me. At first I thought it was abuse, but it appears I have joined some funny club like the Masons and need to learn the funny handshakes
* Is the best feeling in the world going past (the other direction obviously) another bus. I actually got bottled up when he flashed his headlights. If I ever learn where the full beam is I will reciprocate, rather than do mad waving signs
I am sure she has numerous other merits which I no doubt will find over the months
Love you Tills!
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